Some of Your Spouses and Children Are Enemies — The Delayed Emigrant
asbab
Level: intermediate
madani-events
as-062
إِنَّ مِنۡ أَزۡوَٰجِكُمۡ وَأَوۡلَٰدِكُمۡ عَدُوّٗا لَّكُمۡ فَٱحۡذَرُوهُمۡ
— التغابن 14
Verse: "O you who believe, indeed among your spouses and children are enemies to you — so beware of them." (64:14)
Occasion (Hasan — Tirmidhi and Al-Hakim): Ibn Abbas: "Some Meccan Muslims who wanted to emigrate were prevented by their wives and children. When they finally reached Medina they found people had mastered the religion and felt like punishing their families. Allah revealed: 'If you pardon and overlook and forgive — Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.'"
"Beware of them": Caution is not severance — but vigilance so one isn't diverted from Allah's obedience because of family.
Lesson: Family love is a blessing — but it becomes a burden when it diverts from truth. Love your family and beware they don't delay you from the Hereafter.
Source: Tirmidhi (3317); Al-Hakim (2/532); Ibn Kathir (8/148)
Question: How do you reconcile "some of your spouses are enemies" with the command to treat them kindly?
Answer: The enmity is in the action that diverts from Allah — not in the person. So you love, treat kindly, and remain vigilant simultaneously. Beware the delaying action, not the person.