O Believers When You Converse Secretly — Etiquette of Private Conversations
fiqh
Level: basic
special
fqh-063
إِذَا تَنَٰجَيۡتُمۡ فَلَا تَتَنَٰجَوۡاْ بِٱلۡإِثۡمِ
— المجادلة 9
Verse: "O believers, when you converse privately do not converse in sin, aggression, or disobedience to the Messenger." (58:9) — Private conversations: forbidden: in sin/aggression/disobeying the Messenger; permitted: in good and benefit. "No two should converse privately excluding the third" — prohibits causing distress. Wisdom: private conversations that create suspicion and anxiety in believers are social harms Islam forbids.
Source: Al-Qurtubi (17/301); Sahih Al-Bukhari (6290)
Question: What is the ruling on two people conversing privately while excluding a third?
Answer: Prohibited — "No two should converse privately excluding the third, for that grieves him" — unless there is necessity or the third is a non-Muslim according to one opinion.